Book Review - Sex and the Believer
Rape
Rape is defined as, “The crime of forcing a woman to submit to sexual intercourse against her will.” I have found that this definition is quite limited in its scope; there is much more to rape than that.To begin with, our country’s statutory rape laws distinguish between what we see above and, “Sexual intercourse with a person (girl or boy) who has not reached the age of consent (even if both parties participate willingly).” So, when I mean the first definition, I will write simply “rape.” When I am referring to the second definition, I will use the term statutory rape. Mr. Koniuchowsky is not always so clear in his teaching regarding rape, often forgetting to make a distinction between the two. At least I hope that is the problem, because I would hate to think that what he teaches regarding a rapist and his victim would apply to both types of rape.
If a man desires a virgin, or ANY damsel of his choosing and makes unwanted sexual advances towards her resulting in rape, the man then has two choices. He can walk away from his violent act without assuming responsibility for it. At that point he has committed rape and fornication, if it involved intercourse. On the other hand, even if he rapes her, but then does the right thing by repenting immediately and marrying her, nurturing her and caring for her, both the fornication and rape have been made null and void.
Moshe Koniuchowsky believes that our country’s statutory rape laws are a direct violation of Torah because they do not allow the rapist the redemptive option of marriage. In fact, he goes further by stating:
Moreover based on these same statutory laws that contradict Torah, the Father YHWH would be put in jail for statutory rape as well, as He placed His sperm ad egg inside Mary, without her permission, as she was a girl no older than 15, more than likely between 13-14. YHWH did not have anyone’s permission and therefore would be falsely accused.
This shows me MK’s lack of knowledge. First he states that Adonai placed His sperm and egg into Mary, which anyone who has taken biology can tell you is absolutely ridiculous as Mary already had eggs. Regardless, he also states that Mary did not consent to this action. Funny, that’s not what Luke says:
And Mary said, “Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her. (Luke 1:38)
That sounds like permission to me.
Now, if we are indeed discussing statutory rape, where both partners are willing participants, then I would have to agree with him; the laws of the land are contrary to Torah. If the two have agreed to do this act, there is no violence involved and they should be given the option of marriage. That might not be a bad idea; many kids would think twice about having sex before marriage if they knew that it would lead to marriage should they be caught.
But, you see, that is not really what he is saying here. Moshe K. describes the rape, as a “violent act” for that is precisely what it is. So, even though he has this written right under the heading of Statutory rape, that is not what he is referring to; what he refers to is rape, pure and simple. He does qualify the above statement with, “Now I am by no means promoting rape and violent behavior against a single woman by any man who simply desires her. However, we are simply redefining things as YHWH intended them in His Word.”
So, what is Adonai’s intent? Let’s take a look at the verses that Moshe K. offers as his reasoning behind these statements.
“If a man finds a girl who is a virgin, who is not engaged, and seizes her and lies with her and they are discovered, then the man who lay with her shall give to the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall become his wife because he has violated her; he cannot divorce her all his days. (Deuteronomy 22:28-29)
Mr. Koniuchowsky follows these verses with the statement, “The key here is that if he rapes an unengaged, or unmarried woman, he got lucky (because he had no knowledge if she was married) and must marry her, to be redeemed by society and not be sent to jail.” Naturally having intercourse with a married woman would be considered adultery, and punishable by death. But is Adonai really stating here that a rapist gets to keep his victim? Let’s take a closer look.
Verse 28 contains the key phrase, “seizes her and lies with her.” This is what Moshe K. is defining as rape. But is that an accurate translation of the phrase? The Hebrew word for “seizes” is number 8610 and literally means to capture. “Lies with,” is number 7901 and it means, “ravish; to lie down; to sleep.” Neither of these words have “rape” in their definition.
So, I did I search on the word “rape” and discovered that it only occurs once in my Bible (NASB) and that is in the book of Judges. It is found within the tale of a Levite priest and his concubine. They were traveling through Benjamin’s territory when they stopped for the night and were taken into the home of one of the town’s citizens. The scene that follows is like something out of Sodom and Gomorrah.
The citizens of that town came and asked the man for the Levite so, “that we may have relations with him.” The man adamantly refuses, instead offering the men of the city his own daughter and the Levite’s concubine.
But the men would not listen to him. So the man seized his concubine and brought her out to them; and they raped her and abused her all night until morning, then let her go at the approach of dawn. (Judges 19:25)
The word translated in this verse, as “raped” is number 3045 and literally means to “have relations.” Notice its helper word, “abused,” which is number 5953a and means, “act severely; bring pain.” This is very important, so we need to pay close attention. The word translated as raped is also the word used for sodomy. It is the word most often used to relate intimate sexual relations, specifically intercourse.
This is not the word used back in Deuteronomy 22:28. The word used there indicates a lying together, without specifying intercourse. It appears, therefore, to be referring to fornication, which, as we have already seen, includes fondling. Webster’s Dictionary from 1828 defines fornication as: The incontinence or lewdness of unmarried persons, male or female; also, the criminal conversation of a married man with an unmarried woman. Isn’t that last part very interesting. What exactly is a “criminal conversation?” Could this be alluding to the fact that by simply being alone together that people could be accused of fornication?
It seems to me that Adonai is clearly stating that if a man seduces a woman, and they are caught, he must then “do the right thing” and marry the girl, and he has no right to ever put her away because he has brought shame to her. This verse, therefore, is not about rape at all, but about a seduction. But what about the verses Moshe K. quotes from Exodus?
If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged, and lies with her, he must pay a dowry for her to be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the dowry for virgins. (Exodus 22:16-17)
Notice in this verse that the word “seduces” is actually used, so it is obviously not speaking of an act of violence. When I read these verses I understood them to mean that the man must pay the father the “bride’s price” regardless of whether he gets to keep the girl or not (he does not keep her if the father does not approve.) Even if the word “seduces” hadn’t been used, this can easily be seen as protection against a true rapist taking his victim and abusing her for the rest of her life; her father would never approve of such a union. Apparently Moshe and I are reading it differently.
If a single man has vaginal intercourse with a true virgin, not engaged (could be any girl post puberty) and the father refuses to allow this couple to turn and redeem their lust into a covenant relationship via marriage, THE MAN STILL CAN MARRY HER WITHOUT ANYONE’S APPROVAL, as he has to obey YHWH, rather than man. He must PAY the father, or someone from the father’s house, who will accept the dowry the “going” price for a wife in Israel.
Rape is a violent crime that has nothing to do with sexual needs. It is all about power and control. The victim often ends up like David’s daughter, shamed, or worse, like the Levite’s concubine: dead. A rapist brutalizes his victim, humiliating him or her and not only stealing their most private, intimate self, but also stealing their sense of security and freedom. This is not the actions of a man whose secret desire is to have this particular woman as his spouse, as Mr. Koniuchowsky seems to believe, but of a man with absolutely no regard for the care of this other human being. Most likely they harbor some deep-seated resentment that they will continue to take out on innocent women, especially a wife. To marry this man would be to guarantee a life of neglect and abuse, possibly ending in early death.
It is beyond belief to suggest that this is Adonai’s will for any of His children. Regardless of how we see Adonai’s view of women, He would not want this for His sons either, and they are often victims of rape as well. Remember these Benjaminites originally asked for the Levite and only settled for his concubine, and the word for rape is the same word for sodomy. To suggest that the criminal then gets to keep his victim, to care for and nurture, is totally ludicrous!
Mr. Koniuchowsky likes scenarios, so I have one for him. Let’s say a young girl, just below the age of consent, is home alone when a man breaks into the house and brutally rapes her. Knowing that no one is home and the nearest neighbor could hear nothing, the girl does not cry out, instead focusing on remembering as much information as possible on her attacker so the police will have a better chance of catching him (smart girl!) After hours of being beaten, raped, sodomized, and forced to perform other sex acts against her will, the man finally has his fill of her and leaves.
Immediately this young lady calls the police who send her to the hospital where samples are taken of the man’s DNA to be used as evidence against him. The young woman then describes her attacker vividly, including the location of moles and tattoos and is willing to testify against him in open court. Armed with this information, the police quickly have the perpetrator in hand and show him to other rape victims (who are also just under the age of consent) who also identify him as their attacker as well. The police check all of the DNA evidence that they have collected and, sure enough, his match all of these cases.
According to what Mr. Koniuchowsky is teaching, the police should then apprehend the suspect, present him with the evidence of his crimes, and then offer him the following options: pay the bride price for each of these women and take them as his wives, or be stoned for fornication. Hmm… tough choice. I’ll take door number one, Bob. Instead of being punished for what he has done, he is rewarded with an instant harem? It sounds to me like Mr. K. has Adonai confused with Allah.
It appears that Mr. Moshe’s idea of sexual freedom involves forcing sex on a woman. Remembering that Yeshua Himself taught us, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” I would like to ask him how he would feel about being a rape victim. Would he want to then “belong” to his rapist for the rest of his life? And does he really believe that this man would actually care for and nurture him for the rest of his life? I’m not being emotional, simply logical.
This is the very same kind of behavior found on the earth in the days of Noah. This is also the kind of behavior found in the five cities commonly referred to as Sodom and Gomorrah.
“Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had arrogance, abundant food and careless ease, but she did not help the poor and needy.” (Ezekiel 16:49)
This total disregard for the life of another, simply because he or she is a victim of rape, shows the same lack of hospitality that the five cities were also known for (as MK should know since their actions are chronicled in the book of Jasher.) We must therefore remember that according to Yeshua this attitude will be quite prevalent in the end days.
“And just as it happened in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of Man: they were eating, they were drinking, they were marrying, they were being given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all.
“It was the same as happened in the days of Lot: they were eating, they were drinking, they were buying, they were selling, they were planting, they were building; but on the day that Lot went out from Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven and destroyed them all.
“It will be just the same on the day that the Son of Man is revealed.” (Luke 17:26-30)
This is an example of how this book demonstrates a complete disregard for the lives of others. As we draw closer to the end days we will see an increase in this type of attitude, even within the household of Adonai, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
Mr. Koniuchowsky continues, stating that this is Adonai’s very liberal policy that allows a man to simply “grab a bride of your liking,” as demonstrated in Judges:
The sons of Benjamin did so, and took wives according to their number from those who danced, whom they carried away. And they went and returned to their inheritance and rebuilt the cities and lived in them. (Judges 21:23)
Moshe K. follows this verse with this statement: “As a matter of fact, verse 23 indicates plural marriage, as the Benjamite men grabbed as many wives as two hands could carry.” Funny, my translation states that they “took wives according to their number,” which would seem to indicate that each took only one. I guess Moshe was numbering their hands.
There is a reason why the sons of Benjamin engaged in this behavior this one time. Remember the Levite’s concubine? Well, this occurred in the territory of Benjamin so the rest of the tribes came against the Benjaminites and proclaimed that they would never give any of their daughters to a son of Benjamin. This was their punishment for having treated their guests so badly. As a result, there were not enough women within the tribe to go around and they could not take any from the other tribes so they came up with this plan:
So they said, “Behold, there is a feast of the LORD from year to year in Shiloh, which is on the north side of Bethel, on the east side of the highway that goes up from Bethel to Shechem, and on the south side of Lebonah.” And they commanded the sons of Benjamin, saying, “Go and lie in wait in the vineyards, and watch; and behold, if the daughters of Shiloh come out to take part in the dances, then you shall come out of the vineyards and each of you shall catch his wife from the daughters of Shiloh, and go to the land of Benjamin. (Judges 21:19-21)
I know of no other place where this is “grabbing a bride of your liking” occurs outside of warfare. That being the case, there is not enough evidence to supporting this as doctrine. So, if the reader has been through this type of experience, rest assured that Adonai would never intend to give you over into your attackers’ hands for the rest of your life.